So, I’m going to do a little skipping with my biography, and talk about the past 24 hours of my life. I haven’t said this previously, but I have been a police officer for 20 years. I have seen a lot of crazy things in my career, a lot of evil, but also a lot of good in people. I think the hardest part for me as an officer, is all the people that are lost without Jesus in their lives. God loves them, just like he loves me. I get cynical towards people sometimes, and its human nature. Going to the same residence, over and over again, for the same issues, they can’t get along and call the police to referee the arguments.

Last night while working I had several calls for service, nothing too major, honestly, it was a good night, we all went home safe. One call that sticks out was a “check the well-being” of a female who was threatening to harm herself. Typically, we get these calls on a regular basis, which is sad. This call a female had stated to her mother, that she was going to harm herself, and she was going to take her life by jumping off a bridge.

After several attempts, we were able to make contact with her by phone, and as she was talking to our dispatch, she hung up several times. One of our other officers was able to talk with her directly by phone, and while on the phone, she informed him that she was on a bridge, and going to jump.

I was sitting in my squad next to him, and immediately saw the urgency in his face and I started racing to the location of where she was. I alerted other officers on the radio of the situation and it was a race against time to get to her.

I will tell you that officers sacrifice their lives and their hearts to help people. We had no idea who this lady was, or what was going on, but we were willing to put ourselves in harms way to help her.

As we arrived to the bridge, I heard other officers on scene calling on the radio that she was on the ledge. My heart sank, as I thought about others that had taken their lives over the years. Racing with my emergency lights and sirens, I remember saying, “God, be with her”, as I was driving to the top of the bridge through traffic.

As I got there, I heard a call on the radio that the officers had her down off the ledge. I later learned that two of the officers had actually grabbed her from the ledge and pulled her down. It was a motorists who was there that distracted her, by telling her to look at something, and then two officers grabbed her. It was quick, just a matter of a second to get her to safety. My fellow officers, without hesitation grabbed this lady, who they didn’t know, and possibly saved her life last night. Just to give a perspective on the height of this bridge, it is about 120ft drop to the bottom, it’s actually one of the highest bridges in our area that I can think of. We were at the highest point.

At any moment, had they grabbed onto her, she could have grabbed them, taken one or both of them with her off the bridge. But we do those things, without hesitation, because we want to serve and help others.

That young lady was taken to one of the area hospitals to get treatment and help. I am glad she was ok, and I’m glad my brothers were safe.

Something that has plagued me the past years of my life, FEAR. I don’t understand why? Its a funny thing. I will put myself in harms way, risk my life for others and without hesitation. Yet, in my personal life, FEAR has consumed me at times.

Fear of what people will think of me, of who I really am. Fear is crippling, it will make you do things in your life that you will regret. Fear is not from God. If God is for us, then who can be against. There is no fear in Christ Jesus.

Fear has crippled my personal life, it has crippled and almost destroyed whats left of my marriage. Going through separation in marriage on the verge of divorce is crippling, the FEAR has ruined my life. My prayers have been to have no fear, no fear on how my wife sees me, or how my kids see me. I don’t want to tell half-truths and white-lies in order to look better than I am, yet FEAR of what people think of me causes me to do just those things, and that has destroyed me as a man, as a husband and as a person.

My prayer is that God would consume me, take away the fear. I have fear, I am not ashamed anymore to admit the FEAR I have. I am a good man, I have a good heart, and I love Jesus. I love my wife and I love my kids. I want God to help me to conquer my fear. I have no fear while in uniform, I want to have the same out of the uniform. No FEAR on who people see me as. I want to not care what those around me think, I want to be who I am.

God, take away the FEAR.